JOKES IN ENGLISH

About lawyers

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter met......


What`s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

One`s a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwel......


One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw a guy eating grass He told the driver to st......


What`s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
One`s a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwellin......


Q: What can a goose do, that a duck can`t do and a lawyer should do?

A: Stick his bill up his ass......


An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, `Ah, you`re......


A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead o......


Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
A: Your honor.

......

What is the difference between a leech and a lawyer?

The leech stops sucking you dry after y......


Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats?

They don`t become so a......

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that s......


A man reluctantly attends his laywer`s funeral expecting to be one of the one people there, and is s......


What`s the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road?


What`s the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? Th......


What`s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One`s a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling sca......


Q: What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?A: Not enough sand.......


`I have good news and bad news,` the defense lawyer says to his client.`What`s the bad news?` The la......


A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and ......


Why does New Jersey have all the toxic waste dumps and California has all the lawyers? Because New J......


Two good lawyer friends are having a nice stroll through a wooded area. They don`t walk more than a ......


A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter met......


Q: What is the main difference between lawyers and god? A: God doesn`t think that he is a lawyer!......


Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water. ......


What do you call a lawyer who doesn`t know the law? A judge. ......


- `I have good news and bad news`, the defense lawyer says to his client. - `What`s the bad news?` T......


Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died? He was looking for loopholes! ......


What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig? Nothing. There are some things even a pig won`t d......


There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting......


A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading h......


Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers? A: He threatened to release one eve......


A lawyer was on his cell phone, calling a locksmith. `I locked my keys in my sports car!` said the ......


Two good lawyer friends are having a nice stroll through a wooded area. They don't walk more than a ......


A very well known doctor and extremely well known lawyer get into a car accident way out on a countr......


A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter met......


Q: What is the main difference between lawyers and god? A: God doesn't think that he is a lawyer!......


Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water. ......


What do you call a lawyer who doesn't know the law? A judge. ......


- "I have good news and bad news", the defense lawyer says to his client. - "What's the bad news?......


Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died? He was looking for loopholes! ......


What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig? Nothing. There are some things even a pig won't......


There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting......


A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading h......


Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers? A: He threatened to release one e......


A lawyer was on his cell phone, calling a locksmith. "I locked my keys in my sports car!" said t......