JOKES IN ENGLISH

About mariage

There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors` houses h......


A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, ......


Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, `Martha, ......


A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he start......


Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive`s wife stopped by his office.

When she opened the......


A state trooper pulls a car over for speeding. In the car is an old lady who is hard of hearing and ......


As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.

Answering, he heard hi......


A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed.

His friend asked him why he was looking......


A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs. It takes all the strength......


A man decided to march in the holy crusades. Concluding that his wife should wear a chastity belt wh......


A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and ou......


Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

`Betty, I was wondering -- have you......


A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-thr......


Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the g......


A young wife, her boorish husband and a young good looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. ......


One day three women were at a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, `Las......


A man and his wife entered a dentist`s office.

The wife said, `I want a tooth pulled. I don`t want......


A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside. He ord......


A woman announces to herfriend that she is getting married for the fourth time.


Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls 50 feet to the g......


Buy me a beer if you want the story told
Of why I moved down South from the frost and cold.
Wh......


A woman goes over to her married son`s house and walks in to find her daughter-in-law sitting in a c......


There`s a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worri......


A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife sta......


Three railroad workers, a Chinese man, an Italian, and a redneck, are all sitting down to lunch.

T......


My wife came home the other night and told me to take off her blouse.

Then she told me to tak......


A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was......


Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar.

His first friend says: `I think my wife is having......


A man and his wife were invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. The wifegot a terrible headache ......


An affluent couple gets into an argument over dinner.

`If you could cook,` said the husband, `we c......


`Bartender, gimme `nother drink, says a very drunk man.

`Sorry sir,` replies the bartender. `I hav......


Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, `You know, I do......


Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter.

`So,` Peter asks the first......


Brittany was on her deathbed, with her husband Adam at her side.

She kept trying to tell him some......


Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving in the country and accidentally hit and killed a pi......


A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of......


There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser whe......


A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his cloc......


A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat......


A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband`s best friend.

They make lov......


One day a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 mph when he noticed th......


A husband and wife are watching `Who Wants To Be a Millionaire,` and the husband winks and says, `Ho......


A man was drinking in a bar when he noticed this beautiful young lady sitting next to him. `Hello th......


A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, `Give me six double vodkas.`

The barman sa......


Three guys are sitting in a bar when the first guy says, `My wife is so dumb, she carries an automat......


A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells `Give me a Budweiser, or...!......


There once was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three neighbors` houses h......


One Friday, two women were sitting and talking. One woman looked up and saw her husband coming down ......


A man and his wife were on their honeymoon. The husband took off his pants and handed them to his wi......


A farmer just got married and was going home on his wagon pulled by a team of horses. When one of th......


A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the older three had red hair, light sk......


While going through his wife`s dresser drawers, a farmer discovered three soybeans and an envelope c......


A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he start......


Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, `Martha, ......


Two hicks from West Virginia got married and were having their honeymoon in a local motel. They begi......


A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at ......


A woman walks into a tattoo parlor. She gets into the chair and tells the tattoo artist, `I want two......


A sad man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him what the problem is.

`My life is awful......


It was Saturday morning and Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the seas......


These three guys got together one day and were talking about how drunk they got at a party the night......


An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant. They order one hamburger, one order of fries and......


Three friends had a good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist. At every bad s......


A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls ......


1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A womanwill pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn`t want.......


A husband and wife were lying in bed together one night. The wife rolled over and placed her hand lo......


Buy me a beer if you want the story toldOf why I moved down South from the frost and cold.Why I`m kn......


Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls 50 feet to the g......


A woman goes over to her married son`s house and walks in to find her daughter-in-law sitting in a c......


During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:`Look, I`ll give......


Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive``s wife stopped by his office. When she opened the d......


A Catholic, a Baptist, and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families.`I have four boys ......


First Guy (proudly): `My wife`s an angel!` Second Guy: `You`re lucky, mine`s still alive.`......


A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending......


A priest and an Australian shepherd met each other in the final of a quiz show. After answering all ......


A wife asked her husband if he is planning to do anything for their annivarsary. The husband looks a......


During the Persian Gulf War, I was assigned to go to Saudi Arabia. As I was saying good-bye to my fa......


A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife sta......


Q: If Atlas supported the world on his shoulders, who supported Atlas ? A: His wife !......


On a rural road a state trooper pulled a man over and said: `Sir, do you realize your wife fell out ......


Three construction workers (an Italian, a Mexican, and a Redneck) were sitting on a steel beam at th......


A woman tells her friend that Interflora just delivered a bunch of flowers from her husband.`Now I g......


farmer wants to milk a cow in the barn. He puts his stool next to the cow and the bucket below it. A......


A man is driving through the countryside when he sees a sign that reads `Pigs for sale, next left`. ......


Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them afte......


Tom wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing h......


Instead of getting married. Just find a girl you don't like and buy her a house.......


The Devil walks into a crowded bar. When the people see who it is,they all run out except this one o......


A wife asked her husband if he is planning to do anything for their annivarsary. The husband looks......